Movie day

Went and watch The Conjuring yesterday, I did it, I finish the whole movie in cinema. I feel so suprise with myself, because, I know I'm not a brave girl,  I not even dare to watch any horror movie since I was small. But this time, I did it. I can't denied tht I'm scare when I was inside cinema, but I forcing myself to watch this movie. I want to let people know, im a brave girl, I dare to face anything by myself. But, after finish that movie, I still hope, he will sit beside me and give me a big hug while telling it all was just a movie. Yes, this is what he did to me last time when i feel scare after watching movie. But, he will do that to me again? I really hope he will do that to me again. I miss him! But he will still miss me?

昨天去看了鬼片, the conjuring,我做到了,我看完了整套戏。顿时的我觉得自己很厉害, 因为从以前到现在我就是一个胆小鬼,我从来都不看鬼片,因为我知道我看了会一直回想起那些故事。可是这次,我居然看了。当我在电影院的时候我很怕,可是我不断的逼自己,一定要把它看完,就算你不再我身边,我也要把它看完。我要身边的人都知道,我是一个勇敢的女生,我可以一个人去面对所有的事情。当看完了整套故事,我还是希望他会在我身边,紧紧地抱住我,并告诉我,安慰我说,一切都是假的。就好像以前我们一起去看电影,你看到我不停地被吓到,把我抱紧,然后不停地安慰我。我一直都希望他会再一次地在我身旁,陪伴我,安慰我。我很想念他。可是他会想念我吗?

What are u thinking right now?

I always wonder, what are you thinking right now. How good if I can read your mind. If I could read your mind, I will know, I should stay or should walk away from your life. I scare to do any decision, because leaving you is my final decision, I will never back to you. Even one day, you might find me back and tell me, you have regret. But, once I choose to give up on you, I will never back to you. If, you already have a plan to be together with other girl,  dun give me any hope. I hope, u wont lie to me again. I hardly believe in people, but once I choose to believe in you, I reallg meant it. So, pls, dun give me any fake hope and lie to me again if u dun have any plan to stay forever with me. Because I'm a stupid girl, I will still believe in you even I know, you might be lie to me again.
如果可以,我多么想住在你心里。因为这样我就可以读懂你的心。读懂了就可以知道,我应该继续等下去,还是狠下心地离你而去。过了这么久,我还不敢做任何决定,因为我知道,如果我选择了放下,你不会再有机会回来。不管以后你再带着后悔的心再来向我忏悔,我都不会再让你回来。如果,现在的你已经计划好要跟另一个人过一辈子,不要在给我任何的假希望。我不希望你会再次欺骗我。我是个很难信任别人的人,如果我说我相信你,我绝对是百分之百地相信。所以我想说,如果可以,不要再滥用我对你的信任。如果你的选择不再是我,不要再让我有任何地假希望。我很傻,就算直觉告诉我,你在欺骗我,可是我还是会相信。

如果可以,我想投降了

天,如果可以,我想投降了。我不想再和你斗了,我很累,我不想再失去任何东西。可是,我只要我身边的人一切顺利,不管是家人,朋友或者是他。最近发生了一些事,我什么都帮不上,我觉得我很笨,什么都做不到。我看见他为了解决一些事,对别人低声下气,我很心痛。自从认识他以后,我答应过自己,不会让他向身边的人低声下气。所以不管发生什么事,我都要在他身边,因为我不想他走错路。我不想看到他一副后悔的样子,我不想看到他为了收拾残局的狼狈样。 在我心里,他永远是最好的,不管他做了什么事,他永远都是第一。可是因为我,他走错了路,现在正在补救着,而我却帮不上什么忙。我要的东西其实很简单,我只要他快乐。为什么,上天要让他这样? 难道他这样,我会好过吗? 只要这一关他可以安然渡过,就算要我离开他,我也愿意。 我不要他跟我一样倒霉,我已经倒霉一年了,我不要拖累任何人,尤其是他。如果我向上天投降了,他可以安然渡过,他可以像以前一样,那我,愿意投降。我认输了。

Dear god, can you give him a happy life? I'm ain't a greedy girl, I just want he happy. But why, it was so hard? Now, I'm here to surrender. I'm a loser. I wont challenge you anymore. But can you let him overcome all those problem that he face? If I surrender will make you happy, I'm here to do so. Im tired, I wont fight with you. I just hope, he will be okay.

如果。。

最近,你发生了很多事,我觉得一切都是我的错。如果,当初不是为了不让你难做,就不会答应和你暂时分开。如果不是因为和你分开了,不想打扰你,就不会不再去关心你。如果不是不去关心,对你的事一切没不关心,你就不会做错事。为什么当初要把你放下?为什么很怕你出事,还不要厚脸皮地去关心你? 如果当初不答应你的要求,我们就不会走到这样。如果时间能够从来,我不会在答应你的要求,不会再放开你,不会在让你做错事。可是,一切都太迟了,我帮不到你。我很怕,我会再次失去你,永远地失去你。我不要你发生什么事,可是我什么都做不到。我没有能力去帮你。如果有人可以帮到你,不管条件是什么,我都会答应。就算要我失去你,我也会答应。可是,我真的不知道现在应该做些什么。为什么这次的我,什么方法都没有了?我们能一起解决这个问题吗?
If, that day I didn't agreed to break up with you, I think, you wont make this silly mistakes.  All also because of me, why? Why this all thing can happen? I shouldn't agree to break up. I hate myself, if that time I keep on concern about you, this thing wont happen. Yes, I scare, you will make mistakes when I'm not beside you, but yet, I just stand aside. Because I thought, she will help you, I'm not needed anymore. But, I have make a wrong decision. I feel very  sorry to you, if not because I being so selfish,  all this stuff wouldn't happen. What should  I do now ? I dunno what should I do to pull you out from this all problem. I dunwan to lose you in my life again, but useless me cant do anything for you.  I dunwan to lose you, I scare to lose you. But, what can I do now?? Can we overcome it?

Keep on waiting

After finish my job, the first thing I did was on back my phone data. I always hope, I will receieve message from you immediately after the phone data is on. But, god always have another plan for me. I didnt receive any messages from you, you didn't come and find me. Even I know, the chances to receive your message was just 1%, but I still wait. No matter how busy am I, I will still holding my phone, because my heart keep telling me that you will find me. Unfortunately,  my heart always give me wrong information. I feel upset. I want back the life that we use to have. I want to chat with you, but I got no reason to find you. So wht can I do was just waiting.
每天收工了之后会做的是就是把手机的网络开回, 再查看有没有你的短信。每开一次,就会希望有你的短信。哪怕只是一个字,我想我也会很高兴。可是,事情并没想像中完美,我连一封短信都没收到。虽然我知道,你会发短信给我的机会是万分之一,可是我还是要等。无论我有多忙, 我也不会放开我的电话,因为直觉告诉我,你会来找我。很不幸的,它给了我错的答案。我很不开心。我要的是像以往一样的生活。我想找你,可是好像连找你的理由也没有,我不敢去打扰你。每天只能做的事就是等。

Believe

What is the word believe stand for? I just want you to believe me, trust me. Why is it so hard? Maybe, for you..I'm not that good, I always break promise. But this time, I really need your trust toward me. I want you trust everything I said. After those thing happened,  I have grown up. I'm not that little girl that always break promise, I have change myself to a better me. Because I really regret, I dunwan anything bad happen between us anymore. I have correct my mistakes, but, I dunno, u will take the risk to trust me again or not. Am I worth for you to believe in me? Or maybe, u have already give up on me earlier. I dunno what will happen between us in the future. But if god let us have the scond chance to get back together, will you believe in me again?
什么是相信? 我只是要你相信我,这很难吗?可能吧。。我并没那么好,好的可以让你信任我,因为过去的我曾经违背了我们之间的诺言。可是这次,我是真心地想得到你的信任。人是会长大的,发生了一些事后,我长大了。我不再是个违背诺言,违背承诺的人,我在那件事后成长了,我把自己变得更好。当一个人真正后悔了,自然会改变。因为我不想要因为一样的错误而再破坏我们之间的关系。我错的地方我改了,可是我不知道,你还会不会去冒这个险去相信我。我还值得你去相信吗?或许,你早已放弃我了。我不懂未来的我们会怎样。可是,如果有一天上天再次安排我们在一起,你会在选择相信我吗?

I promise..

我曾经。。
答应自己,不再去想你。
答应自己,不要在哭泣。
答应自己,不要在理你。
答应自己,不会在关心你。
答应自己,要笑着面对。
答应自己,要忘掉你。
答应自己,要忘掉以往的一切。
可是为什么,我答应了自己的事,到现在还做不到?
不管你对我做了什么事,只要你有事,我一定会帮你。
明明说好了,不再想你,不再为你哭泣,不再理你,不再关心你,可是, 我却心软了。

I have promised myself so many thing, but I break the promise once you came and find me.
I know, you hurt me alot, but why, I still missing you?
Why am I so stupid?  All also because I still loving you.