Thursday 12 December 2013

害怕

这几个月,身边的亲人身体都陆陆续续亮起红灯。我好害怕,好担心我家人的身体健康。舅母不久前检验发现患了癌症,家里的人都为了她忙碌,担心她。我发觉,财富并不是最重要的,身体健康更重要。
这几天,自己身体也渐渐不好,我好担心,害怕自己会发生什么事。我该怎么办?我糊思乱想的毛病又在出现了,我找不到能够开解我的人,我该找谁呢? 我真的不懂。。。

Friday 6 December 2013

决定了。。

我想是时候做个决定了。
虽然不舍得,可是还是必须做个决定,既然都已经半年了,证明了这是你的选择。你走吧,走了别想在回来。
当我真正放下的时候,我不会在关心你,想念你,给我时间,我会放下你。
我会慢慢适应没有你的日子。

Sunday 24 November 2013

有爸妈的孩子真幸福

今天,看了一篇关于孩子在家与不在家,父母的会有什么异样。当孩子在家,父母会唠叨孩子懒惰,改天嫁不出去;孩子出外工作却担心他做工太累。有父母的孩子有什么事可以回家哭诉,有父母的孩子有人关心,有父母的孩子有人照顾。有父母的孩子多么幸福!

突然想起和他分手那天,魂不守舍,什么东西都没吃,只知道坐着发呆。那个我,的确令他们担心。他们无数次问我发生什么事,我只会对他们摇头说没事。他们那时紧张的表情,我一直到现在都还记得。

到了晚上,他们把我叫进房间。房间里只有爸,妈和我三人。终于,我按耐不住,忍受不了那种无助的感觉,我抱着我爸爸痛苦了一场,并把事情告诉他。他什么都没说,只是告诉我一句话,缘分这种东西,不能勉强,不是你的,他不会留在你身边。我妈也抱着我说,是那男人不会珍惜,有什么好伤心呢?你还有机会遇到更好的,而且现在也不用着急找啊。

因为他们的这两句话,我慢慢站起来。虽然分手快半年了,伤仍然痊愈不了,可是,有他们的安慰与关心,我觉得我很幸福。我有他们就好。虽然表面爱逗他们,闹他们,可是爱他们的心,他们是感受的到的。谢谢你们,我爱你们!

Saturday 26 October 2013

Busy week

Im kinda busy with my assignment, presentation and other thing this few weeks.. I dunno why, no matter how busy I am, I still miss you. I have try to not think about you, but I cant. Reli wont back to me? How I wish I could go to my future and take a look about it...so that I will know, wht will happen to us in the future.

Saturday 19 October 2013

Time fly

Just on my facebook randomly, all of sudden I saw ur update...I knw it was updated from her. She purposely update it for me to see.
Time flies,  we break up for 5 months already. I reli miss you, but u will still care about it? 

Thursday 17 October 2013

曾经。。

有时,很害怕要出去, 去那些我们曾经一起去过的地方。有时,很害怕突然想起关于你的一切。有时,很怀念,曾经和你一起做过的事。最近虽然很忙,可是,还是会想起你。如果那天你回头了,我们会怎样呢? 也许,你现在过着的生活更高兴吧

Sometime, I will try my best to avoid to go to the place that we have been there before. I might be busy with my study stuff everyday, but I will still think about you. If tht day, ur choice that you make was me, what will happen to us now? Maybe, for you, there is no different.

Wednesday 2 October 2013

很累

分手快四个月,每天强逼自己去忘记,去放下,尽量让自己忙得像疯人一样。可是,还是会很突然地去想你,想起我们说做过的事,说过的话。越想,越觉得累。越想,越害怕。
因为你,我不再相信任何人。因为你,我不再想依靠任何人。曾经的你,是让我百分百的依靠。突然失去的依靠,让我一时之间接受不了。所以现在的我觉得,宁可把自己搞得更累,更惨,我也不要再依靠任何人。宁可担心随时失去的依靠,倒不如靠自己。你留下的伤够我痛一辈子了,我不想任何人在有机会去伤害我,所以我会学着一个人去面对,不管有多难,我相信,我能办到。

虽然有这样的想法,可是我很累。我也想有个人可以保护我,疼爱我,爱惜我。可是,能吗?还有什么人能让我去依靠,值得我去相信?我想,应该也不会在有人了吧。就算真的有这样一个人愿意永远留在我身旁,我也没有勇气再去接受。有时,会不断地想,为什么会让我遇见你?如果当初没认识你,我就不会那么痛苦,也不会像现在一样去折磨自己,把自己搞得这么累。19年以来,我都是一个人走来,路上遇过的,也不比现在少。如果没遇见你,我也一样可以一个人走。如果可以选,我不想遇见你,我也不会想认识你。我不明白为什么上天要安排我遇见你,难道,我遇到的还不够多?

既然现在你走出了我的世界,我不会再让你回来。曾经对我的承诺,欺骗,我会把它忘了。有一天,我也会把我们的回忆忘记。是你,让我觉得过度相信和依赖一个人是不值得的。谢谢你让我知道这个道理。我不会在去相信任何人。终有一天,我会把我们的回忆当笑话看,把故事笑着说出来。你的背叛在我心里会是一个永远也好不了的伤。


Saturday 28 September 2013

迷茫

我不懂,把你推开,对我会不会更好。可是我知道,对你来说,绝对是个很对的选择。这样的我很残忍,可是为了你,我一定要这样。
我不想伤害你,我不敢想未来的我会怎样。你有你要过的人生,有你要过的生活,我不想因为我,而耽误了你。你会是个很好的人,可是在我还没把事情想通,再去面对以前,我是不会接受你。
不懂为什么,在你身上,我看见了他的背影。你对我的好,他以前也做过。对我的好我都看到。可是,我害怕同样的事会发生。也许因为受过伤,所以不管一个人对我多好,我都会狠下心,把他推开。不敢在过度依赖任何人,因为害怕再次失去。
我想如果同样的事再发生,我就再也站不起来了。
我也需要一个人陪我,帮我渡过,可是我不懂有谁会真心地呆在身边,傻傻地付出。
就算有,我也害怕接受。因为我害怕自己无法报答那个人对我的好。
此刻的我很迷茫,很累,也不懂接下来应该怎样走。。

Thursday 19 September 2013

是时候了。。。

虽然没亲口告诉我,可是心里早已知道答案了。你选择了他。谢谢你一年以来的陪伴,我想说,是时候了,我还你自由, 你走吧!
未来的路我会一个人慢慢走,我决不会让自己再次跌倒,不会再让自己受伤,更不会依赖任何人。谢谢你让我学会在失败中站起来,我并没输给她,我只是累了,不想斗了。
我们的回忆,很多,很甜,很高兴,可是,我会把它给忘了,我们之间的感情就到这里。
既然选择了放弃你,未来的我会过得很好。你也已经有了你要的选择,不要再期望可以回来我身边了。
对,我很喜欢,很爱你。可是,我们都回不去了。过了,就算了吧。
是你让我知道,其实单身更好,我爱上了单身!
谢谢你。
祝你永远幸福,快乐

Friday 6 September 2013

到底应该怎样?

今天找你聊了天,你只是很冷淡的回答几句。 难道你要的东西我给不到,我们就不可能了? 还是你只想要我放弃? 我只要你告诉我,你不爱我了,我就离开。 为什么你不要那样做? 你说和她分了,可是她的照片都还会看到她po 。 现在你们是想怎样? 可以让我知道吗? 要我离开? 还是留下? 我只想知道答案。
如果你选择她, 我愿意放手。 我们回到原点-最熟悉的陌生人。就算痛,我也会放。
只要告诉我你爱他,让我的心在次流血, 痛个够了,我就放手。

Thursday 5 September 2013

什么关系?

现在的你和她到底是什么关系?
今天早上当正在犹豫要不要去找你时,我开了你的fb 户口。可是已经开不到了,我还以为是为了让她死心而换密码。难得,我开心了,你愿意和她分手,回到我身边。结果,下午又有人帮你更新status, 那个人就是她。原来密码是为了不让我开你fb户口而换的? 我才是你想放开的人? 我再次地乱想了,你曾经说过不管怎样都不会放开我,可是我很怕。也许对你来说,她更新status不算什么,可是对我来说,可以有你fb密码的人,她一定是你爱的人。我多么希望现在的你可以陪陪我,安慰我。我信息你,可是你都没回复。难道要我放弃了? 如果是,请让我知道。 我不会赖着不走。
其实,我要的很简单。我只要你回来我身边,和她画清界限,默默地等我三年。你让我有了安全感,我自然会再次相信你。如果可以,请你等我。我正在努力着把自己变得更好。如果你决定了选她,那告诉我吧。
我只想要有个从你说出口的答案。就算要我等你,我也愿意。

I thought u have changed your fb password because you want break clearly with tht girl, but unfortunately,  she still can hack into your account and update new status. For you, maybe it was nothing. But for me, if there is a people who can on or hack into your account, tht people meant everything to you. At this moment, I feel blur and sad. I feel scare again at the same time, I know, u promise me before, you wont leave me. But you change you fb password izzit becuz want let me knw tht she is ur choice? If she was your choice, I willing to leave.
Actually what I want is very easy. I just hope you will break clearly with her and always beside me. Just wait me three years, if u willing to wait for me, and I feel im being protected by you again,  I will put my trust on you again automatically. If can, I hope you can wait me. I'm trying to make myself into a better girl. If there is a days u have an answer in your mind, please tell me. I will leave if I'm ain't your answer.

Monday 2 September 2013

纠结 Problem that I cant solve

其实你。。还爱我么? 如果我真的选择放手, 你会感到痛吗? 或者我放手了,你也不会伤心,反而还会高兴。因为在你眼中我现在只是小三,我消失了, 你就不用烦了,不是吗?有时我真的很想知道,你到底还爱我吗? 还是只是在同情我。如果不爱了,请告诉我,我会离开。如果不爱了,请不要在对我好,我很笨,我会以为你还爱着我。
最近你一直逃避我,只要我开始关心你,你就会逃跑。如果不是有需要,你都不会出现。到底是我想太多了,还是你变了?你不再喜欢我,爱我了, 你可以向我解释清楚吗? 如果你再不出现并向我解释,我以后一定会想到疯了,要不然就是我放手了。

Actually,  are u still loving me? If ome day, I really choose to give up on you, what will you feel? You will feel hurt? Or maybe u may feel happy, becuz I'm a trouble maker between u and her. If I lost from your life, you will with her forever. Without me, u will feel more happy. If there is a day which you no love me anymore, please do let me know.At least, I wont so stupid to treat u good.
This few days, you started to avoid from me, when I have start to concern about you, you will lost from your phone. You will just appear again when u needed help from me. You will keep on avoid from me, izzit because u no love me anymore? Is just I overthinking? If you still dunwan appear and explain to me, I think, I might be leaving, or else, I might be crazy because of overthinking.

Thursday 29 August 2013

害怕

昨天晚上他来找过我,可是我没有回复信息。不知道为什么我会害怕,我很害怕他会亲口告诉他喜欢的是那女孩,我和他没有机会了。因为怕,所以只好一直逃避他。 为什么我这么胆小? 难道面对他有这么难吗? 其实我很爱他,可是他不爱我了。他爱的是另一个女孩,应该是很爱,很喜欢那个女孩。要不然也不会为了忍让那女孩,忍到现在。现在的他对着我,一下子就发脾气,好像我做错什么东西。我想知道,你对她也会发脾气吗?你会骂她,对她大声吗? 你应该不会这样吧。 那我对你来说算什么?你从来都不会骂我,对我大声,难道现在对你来说我不重要了?我现在只是你的 一个普通朋友吗?如果从今天开始,我在你生活里失踪了,你还会来找我吗? 我希望你会一个地方一个地方地去找。 我很想知道,在你心理我还是那么重要吗? 我很爱你,可是如果你对我没有感觉了,我会收回对你的爱。 我会放手,不再打扰你。不管多难,只要你喜欢的是她,我就会放手,虽然心会很痛,可是我也会放手,让你和她在一起。为了让你开心,你要我放手成全你们我也愿意。因为 放手也是对你的另一种爱。希望她是真真地喜欢你。

Sunday 25 August 2013

这几天想了想,终于感觉到累了。我不想在斗了。我想要放弃了,我曾经很喜欢你。不知不觉,由喜欢变成了爱。爱你,爱得我好累。我给了你很多次的机会,可是你把它当着理所当然的。我只能说,我很累。你跟以往已经不在一样,你已经不再是那个我曾经认识的人。谢谢你曾经带给我的快乐,谢谢你陪我一起在走过一些愉快或不愉快的路。我曾经说过会等你,可是我不懂你会不会回来。我也不知道未来会发生什么事,我只能说,让这段情一切随缘。我们的遇见是一个缘分的开始,就让缘分去决定我们未来的路。我能做的我已经做了,可是你还是守在她身旁。 我还能怎样呢?
也许,我应该要慢慢地把你从我的心里搬出来,慢慢地把你淡忘。把心打开,让每个人拥有住进去的机会。如果命中注定我们以后还会一起,我们就从陌生人开始,一步一步地走,慢慢地再次认识对方,走向未来。相反的,如果我们注定分开,我会让另一个他走进我心里,让他好好地保护我,疼爱我。然后把你给忘了。
缘分让我们认识,让我们开始这段感情,就让它去决定我们未来的路。我相信如果我们有缘有份,我们还会再引起。可是如果注定我们有缘无份,不能走在一起,它会准备另一个更好的男人,让他保护我,疼爱我一辈子。
所以,一切就靠缘分吧!我的心到最后住着的会是谁,我也不懂,可能是你,也可能是另一个人。所以,我不会再为了你去拒绝任何一个人,不会在让你一直住在我的心里。我只能说,我们让天决定吧!

祝你,永远幸福

Monday 19 August 2013

雨天的早晨

今天早上下了一场很大的雨, 我又想起你了。 明明说了想要放弃, 可是为什么脑里却一直有你? 以前你曾经说过, 要是一起出去, 我们遇到了什么危险的事, 你要我先逃跑。你说不管你发生什么事, 都要我安全地逃走。 那时的我不答应, 你很生气。 你说宁愿自己有事,也不要我发生任何的事。 因为如果我受伤或发生了什么事, 你会很自责, 你会觉得很对不起我,很对不起我的家人,因为保护不了我。 那时的我觉得我找到了, 我找到一个可以让我依靠, 保护我,照顾我的人。 可是,现在的你对我不闻不问, 和那时的你很不同。 我一直都在努力地挽回你,可是你呢? 我一直都在等,可是你从没回头看过我。 难道,真的要我放弃了,你才会觉悟?
I think of you again in this early rainy morning. I have choose to give up yesterday, but why, my brain can't stop for thinking about you? Last time, when we are chatting, u told me something. U want me to promise, if there is something happen when we go somewhere, you will want me leave first. It is because you don't want anything happen to me, you want me leave, so you can prevent me from getting any injured of accident. That time, I refuse to promise with you, you was angry with me, you told me, if I didnt leave and I get injured, u will feel very sorry to urself and my family, because you as a man, you can't even protect me. I feel very happy,  because I have found a guy which can always hold me, protect me, or care about me. But now,  u treat me lika a stranger,it was so different with what you told me last time.  I have did so many thing to get you back, but have you think of coming back? I have been waiting at the same places, but unfortunately,  you not even turn around and look and me. If, I really give up on you, what you will feel?

Thursday 15 August 2013

Movie day

Went and watch The Conjuring yesterday, I did it, I finish the whole movie in cinema. I feel so suprise with myself, because, I know I'm not a brave girl,  I not even dare to watch any horror movie since I was small. But this time, I did it. I can't denied tht I'm scare when I was inside cinema, but I forcing myself to watch this movie. I want to let people know, im a brave girl, I dare to face anything by myself. But, after finish that movie, I still hope, he will sit beside me and give me a big hug while telling it all was just a movie. Yes, this is what he did to me last time when i feel scare after watching movie. But, he will do that to me again? I really hope he will do that to me again. I miss him! But he will still miss me?
昨天去看了鬼片, the conjuring,我做到了,我看完了整套戏。顿时的我觉得自己很厉害, 因为从以前到现在我就是一个胆小鬼,我从来都不看鬼片,因为我知道我看了会一直回想起那些故事。可是这次,我居然看了。当我在电影院的时候我很怕,可是我不断的逼自己,一定要把它看完,就算你不再我身边,我也要把它看完。我要身边的人都知道,我是一个勇敢的女生,我可以一个人去面对所有的事情。当看完了整套故事,我还是希望他会在我身边,紧紧地抱住我,并告诉我,安慰我说,一切都是假的。就好像以前我们一起去看电影,你看到我不停地被吓到,把我抱紧,然后不停地安慰我。我一直都希望他会再一次地在我身旁,陪伴我,安慰我。我很想念他。可是他会想念我吗?

What are u thinking right now?

I always wonder, what are you thinking right now. How good if I can read your mind. If I could read your mind, I will know, I should stay or should walk away from your life. I scare to do any decision, because leaving you is my final decision, I will never back to you. Even one day, you might find me back and tell me, you have regret. But, once I choose to give up on you, I will never back to you. If, you already have a plan to be together with other girl,  dun give me any hope. I hope, u wont lie to me again. I hardly believe in people, but once I choose to believe in you, I reallg meant it. So, pls, dun give me any fake hope and lie to me again if u dun have any plan to stay forever with me. Because I'm a stupid girl, I will still believe in you even I know, you might be lie to me again.
如果可以,我多么想住在你心里。因为这样我就可以读懂你的心。读懂了就可以知道,我应该继续等下去,还是狠下心地离你而去。过了这么久,我还不敢做任何决定,因为我知道,如果我选择了放下,你不会再有机会回来。不管以后你再带着后悔的心再来向我忏悔,我都不会再让你回来。如果,现在的你已经计划好要跟另一个人过一辈子,不要在给我任何的假希望。我不希望你会再次欺骗我。我是个很难信任别人的人,如果我说我相信你,我绝对是百分之百地相信。所以我想说,如果可以,不要再滥用我对你的信任。如果你的选择不再是我,不要再让我有任何地假希望。我很傻,就算直觉告诉我,你在欺骗我,可是我还是会相信。

Wednesday 14 August 2013

如果可以,我想投降了

天,如果可以,我想投降了。我不想再和你斗了,我很累,我不想再失去任何东西。可是,我只要我身边的人一切顺利,不管是家人,朋友或者是他。最近发生了一些事,我什么都帮不上,我觉得我很笨,什么都做不到。我看见他为了解决一些事,对别人低声下气,我很心痛。自从认识他以后,我答应过自己,不会让他向身边的人低声下气。所以不管发生什么事,我都要在他身边,因为我不想他走错路。我不想看到他一副后悔的样子,我不想看到他为了收拾残局的狼狈样。 在我心里,他永远是最好的,不管他做了什么事,他永远都是第一。可是因为我,他走错了路,现在正在补救着,而我却帮不上什么忙。我要的东西其实很简单,我只要他快乐。为什么,上天要让他这样? 难道他这样,我会好过吗? 只要这一关他可以安然渡过,就算要我离开他,我也愿意。 我不要他跟我一样倒霉,我已经倒霉一年了,我不要拖累任何人,尤其是他。如果我向上天投降了,他可以安然渡过,他可以像以前一样,那我,愿意投降。我认输了。

Dear god, can you give him a happy life? I'm ain't a greedy girl, I just want he happy. But why, it was so hard? Now, I'm here to surrender. I'm a loser. I wont challenge you anymore. But can you let him overcome all those problem that he face? If I surrender will make you happy, I'm here to do so. Im tired, I wont fight with you. I just hope, he will be okay.

Tuesday 13 August 2013

如果。。

最近,你发生了很多事,我觉得一切都是我的错。如果,当初不是为了不让你难做,就不会答应和你暂时分开。如果不是因为和你分开了,不想打扰你,就不会不再去关心你。如果不是不去关心,对你的事一切没不关心,你就不会做错事。为什么当初要把你放下?为什么很怕你出事,还不要厚脸皮地去关心你? 如果当初不答应你的要求,我们就不会走到这样。如果时间能够从来,我不会在答应你的要求,不会再放开你,不会在让你做错事。可是,一切都太迟了,我帮不到你。我很怕,我会再次失去你,永远地失去你。我不要你发生什么事,可是我什么都做不到。我没有能力去帮你。如果有人可以帮到你,不管条件是什么,我都会答应。就算要我失去你,我也会答应。可是,我真的不知道现在应该做些什么。为什么这次的我,什么方法都没有了?我们能一起解决这个问题吗?
If, that day I didn't agreed to break up with you, I think, you wont make this silly mistakes.  All also because of me, why? Why this all thing can happen? I shouldn't agree to break up. I hate myself, if that time I keep on concern about you, this thing wont happen. Yes, I scare, you will make mistakes when I'm not beside you, but yet, I just stand aside. Because I thought, she will help you, I'm not needed anymore. But, I have make a wrong decision. I feel very  sorry to you, if not because I being so selfish,  all this stuff wouldn't happen. What should  I do now ? I dunno what should I do to pull you out from this all problem. I dunwan to lose you in my life again, but useless me cant do anything for you.  I dunwan to lose you, I scare to lose you. But, what can I do now?? Can we overcome it?

Thursday 8 August 2013

Keep on waiting

After finish my job, the first thing I did was on back my phone data. I always hope, I will receieve message from you immediately after the phone data is on. But, god always have another plan for me. I didnt receive any messages from you, you didn't come and find me. Even I know, the chances to receive your message was just 1%, but I still wait. No matter how busy am I, I will still holding my phone, because my heart keep telling me that you will find me. Unfortunately,  my heart always give me wrong information. I feel upset. I want back the life that we use to have. I want to chat with you, but I got no reason to find you. So wht can I do was just waiting.
每天收工了之后会做的是就是把手机的网络开回, 再查看有没有你的短信。每开一次,就会希望有你的短信。哪怕只是一个字,我想我也会很高兴。可是,事情并没想像中完美,我连一封短信都没收到。虽然我知道,你会发短信给我的机会是万分之一,可是我还是要等。无论我有多忙, 我也不会放开我的电话,因为直觉告诉我,你会来找我。很不幸的,它给了我错的答案。我很不开心。我要的是像以往一样的生活。我想找你,可是好像连找你的理由也没有,我不敢去打扰你。每天只能做的事就是等。

Tuesday 6 August 2013

Believe

What is the word believe stand for? I just want you to believe me, trust me. Why is it so hard? Maybe, for you..I'm not that good, I always break promise. But this time, I really need your trust toward me. I want you trust everything I said. After those thing happened,  I have grown up. I'm not that little girl that always break promise, I have change myself to a better me. Because I really regret, I dunwan anything bad happen between us anymore. I have correct my mistakes, but, I dunno, u will take the risk to trust me again or not. Am I worth for you to believe in me? Or maybe, u have already give up on me earlier. I dunno what will happen between us in the future. But if god let us have the scond chance to get back together, will you believe in me again?
什么是相信? 我只是要你相信我,这很难吗?可能吧。。我并没那么好,好的可以让你信任我,因为过去的我曾经违背了我们之间的诺言。可是这次,我是真心地想得到你的信任。人是会长大的,发生了一些事后,我长大了。我不再是个违背诺言,违背承诺的人,我在那件事后成长了,我把自己变得更好。当一个人真正后悔了,自然会改变。因为我不想要因为一样的错误而再破坏我们之间的关系。我错的地方我改了,可是我不知道,你还会不会去冒这个险去相信我。我还值得你去相信吗?或许,你早已放弃我了。我不懂未来的我们会怎样。可是,如果有一天上天再次安排我们在一起,你会在选择相信我吗?

Monday 5 August 2013

I promise..

我曾经。。
答应自己,不再去想你。
答应自己,不要在哭泣。
答应自己,不要在理你。
答应自己,不会在关心你。
答应自己,要笑着面对。
答应自己,要忘掉你。
答应自己,要忘掉以往的一切。
可是为什么,我答应了自己的事,到现在还做不到?
不管你对我做了什么事,只要你有事,我一定会帮你。
明明说好了,不再想你,不再为你哭泣,不再理你,不再关心你,可是, 我却心软了。

I have promised myself so many thing, but I break the promise once you came and find me.
I know, you hurt me alot, but why, I still missing you?
Why am I so stupid?  All also because I still loving you.

Dear god...

Dear god,
What you want from me? What you want me to do? What is the message you trying to bring to me? Im tired of all those challenge u gave to me. Can I just give up? If I give up in this challenge, will you promise to give me back my belongings? To me, they are so precious. I love them, I want them. I cant afford the pain of losing them. I want them to come into my life and wont leave me again. But why is it so hard? Is it because I not good enough to have it? I beg u, dun take back all those thing from me. Once u have sent those present to me, they are belongs to mine. You got no right to take them back. I just a human being who deserve for a normal life. Please, dun be so cruel to me.
致上帝,
其实,您要的是什么? 您要我如何继续走下去? 您做的一切是为了什么? 是要让我明白些什么? 我只想告诉您,我累了。你所给的挑战太大了,我并没你想向的那么强大。我可以放弃,认输吗? 如果我认输了,属于我的一切可以麻烦您还回给我吗? 对我来说,他们都是很重要的东西。我爱他们,我要他们。我想我应该再也不能承受起失去他们的那种痛。我要他们再次出现在我的生活里,然后永远都不会在离开我。可是为什么这一切都那么地难?是不是因为我不配拥有? 我求您,不要把原本属于我的东西一样一样地从我身边拿走。当你决定把他们送给我的时候,他们就已经属于我。送出去的礼物就不可以再收回,您也没权利收回。我要的不多,我只想要过个平凡的日子。如果可以,不要对我那么残忍。

Sunday 4 August 2013

We are friend? Stranger? Or dun have any relation?

Are we friend? Or just a stranger? Maybe, you have forget about me since the day u leave me. But I'm the stubborn one which still keep my promise that I have make. I still believe that you will back to me one day. However, I still scare. I scare I will lose you for second time again. I very blur about our relation right now. Sometime you will still care me like I'm still yours. But sometime u will treat me like a stranger. I dunno what I should do, can I care and treat you like my own boy? Or maybe I need to stay away from you? Can anyone told me about that? So that I wont make any mistake. I dunno what I should do right now. I hope, you will come and tell me tht I should treat you like my own boy.
其实现在的我们是什么关系? 朋友? 还是只是陌生人? 也许打从那天起,你就已经 把我给忘了。只留下固执的我在原地呆呆地等着你,完成着当初对你许下的承诺。无论如何,我还是相信你还会再一次地回到我身边。可是我很怕,我害怕有一天你会再次离我而去。我们之间现在到底是什么关系? 我应该在像以前一样去关心,并照顾你? 还是把你当成陌生人, 对你的事一律不闻不问? 我很混乱,脑袋一片空白。我希望你会告诉我,要我以女朋友的身份去关心,去照顾你

Saturday 3 August 2013

Life °•°

Finally, I have make a final decision. Certain people might think that  decision making is a simple task, but in real life it was so hard. It is because a good decision may bring you to a brighter future. I hope I have make a correct one because God will never give us second chance to re- think about the decision that we have make. So,  I wont allowed myself to fall down. This is the the decision that I have make, no matter what will happen, I will never give up easily. Yes, people might said I have change alot, i have become more independence. But don't ever forget there is always  some reason for me to do so.  Because of this all things which had happened I told myself to be more tough because I still have a long journey to go.The journey toward my future might be hard, but I will walk slowly and carefully. Walk alone even will be more better, because no one will  harm or hurt you.

今天,我终于做了最后的决定。我定下了接下去我应该走的路。其实每个人都觉得要决定一件事情并不难,可是在现实生活里,这一切刚好相反。 一个好的决定将会给你带来好的未来;反之,不好的决定将会影响你的一身。我只希望这将会是个对的选择,对的决定,因为上天公平地对待每一个人,他只给每个人一次的机会,会不会把握就靠自己了。他不会偏帮任何人,他也不会因为你后悔了,想要在从新决定或选择而给你另一个机会。所以我不会再让自己做错任何的错,也不会让自己跌倒。不管未来的路多么的困难,我还是会继续走下去,我不会怨任何人,因为这一切都是我自己的选择。可能从前认识我的人都会觉得我变了,可是请记得,每个人会去改变是有一定的原因的。我遇到的足以让我去学会成长。就算未来的路不好走,可是我还是会一个人把它走完。一个人走总比到后来再次被人伤害来的好。

Friday 2 August 2013

Appreciate before it is too late

Appreciate.. A word which everyone know to to write or even pronounce. It was a common word which everyone will  know it's meaning. But, how many of us will really appreciate something or someone we use to have. We never thank to god for what we have or sometime we even blaming the god due to the unfairness. Yes, we always heard people advise us tht,  learn to appreciate before it was too late. But how many people will really give a thought of it. Some people not even care about it and wont show a little appreciation to people who always beside h im/her. It is because they know, the people which always stay beside him/her wont leave them. People, dun always take thing for granted.  Please learn to appreciate before you  lost something or someone that you use to have. Life will never give you second chance to correct all those mistakes, so don't make yourself regret. Learn to APPRECIATE before it was too late! Especially to someone who love you and never want to leave you.
珍惜。。。是一个再普通不过的字眼,每个人也许对这字的意思不感到陌生。可是,真正了解这字的意思并学着去珍惜的却没有几个。有些人不懂地感恩,把上天对他/她的好是理所当然的, 有的甚至得到了还不懂的满足,成天只会埋怨上天不公平的对待。虽然会听见身边不少人对我们说, 在一切都还来得及之前,快学会如何去珍惜。可是又有多少个傻子听明白了?有些人对身边每个为他/她的付出都当着是应该的,甚至连一点点的感恩之心都没有。因为他们总认为,身边的那个他/她的付出是因该的。自私自利的人啊, 请不要把别人的付出都当着理所当然。 在这世界上,没有谁是应该为谁付出的。如果可以,要永远记得珍惜并怀着一顆感恩之心去对待身边每个对你好的人。每个人只有一次活在世上的机会,千万不要等到太迟了才明白珍惜这两个字。所以说自私的人啊,赶快学会珍惜吧!尤其是对那些爱你又不会丢下你一个的人。

Thursday 1 August 2013

I need you ◆◇◆

I'm sick today . I have eat medicine, I feel sleepy becuz of tht medicine, but I trying to force myself to sleep late, because I dunno u will find me and chat or not. I keep waiting and waiting, now already going to be 1 in the morning, but I keep make myself to stay awake, even I know, tonight you might not find me. Because i dunno who am I to u? Am I so important to make you find me every night? Maybe, I'm just a friend, a normal friend for u. I got no right to find you every night. But I dunno why, I just want to wait. Even I know, you already got her, maybe now u are dating with her, maybe now u are chatting wit her, maybe now you are accompany-ing her. But I still wait you like a stupid girl here. If can, I really want to know, what u thinking right now. Are u missing me like what I did? Are you worrying me like what I did? Can you reply me? Can you?
我病了, 吃了药的我昏昏欲睡,眼睛就快就要盖下来了。可是,我不断的催眠自己,不断地告诉自己,我不累。对,我一点也不累!为什么我要这样虐待自己? 为什么不让自己好好休息? 原因很简单,我只想要和你聊天,哪怕只是说一句话,我也愿意等。其实,对你来说,我是谁? 我有那么重要吗?也许对你来说,我只是一个朋友,再普通不过的朋友。我也没有权利要你每天晚上陪我,因为我已经不再是你女朋友了,我已经不重要了。可是我还是想要等。可能吧,现在的你正在与她约会,与她开心地聊着天,在他身边陪着她。可是我还是像笨蛋一样的等。此时此刻的我很想知道,你到底在想什么?有没有想我一样,在这里不断地思念着你?有没有像我一样,在这里担心着你?你可以告诉我吗?可以吗?

Wednesday 31 July 2013

Lesson of life ☆

What is life? How could we make our life more memorable? How could we make our life more meaningful? We just live once, take  what we want, leave what we doesn't need. Finish or complete whatever stuff we want to. Dun regret after some time because Life isn't so kind to give us second chance to restart again. What we have lose, just leave it, always looking forward and don't turn back. It is because no matter what had happened, our life still goes on. We still have many things for example, family, friends or even our lovely pet that we have to concern and care about. No matter how, you wont have to face it alone. Because the god will be fair enough to treat everyone, HE will always bring the right one to help u in ur next journey.Just remember, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
生活是什么? 人活着是为了什么? 要如何才留下深刻的回忆? 要如何去开发一个美好的人生?人只有一次活着的机会,想要拥有的就去争取;反之,不想要的就放下。有什么想要完成的,就尽最大的努力去实践。你只有一次活在这世上的机会,不要留下任何遗憾,因为你连后悔的机会也没有,更不用想从新再来。人生道路上,遗失了,就学会淡忘。永远要记得,不管发生什么事,都要往前去看。前方还有许许多多的人比如家庭,朋友,甚至是你最爱的宠物去等着你去关心,等着你去照顾。不管发生什么是,你都不会一个人去面对。因为上天会安排适合的人陪你去度过,陪你完成属于你的人生道路。

Tuesday 30 July 2013

I'm lost ¤

Im lost while im on the way to my future. I'm blur about what to study, I'm blur about where to go. I have lost someone who should stand beside me and always support me. I wish, tht SOMEONE will back one day and give his support to me. With his support, I surely can overcome it. God is the one who make me met wit him, so I hope, god will bring him back to me safely. I not a greedy peeson, I just want someone who will stand beside me forever and wont leave me no matter what happen. Is it a little bit over?
在追求梦想的路程, 我迷失了路,失去了方向感的我,好像一只没了桨的船, 在大海漂泊。飘着飘着, 慢慢地就累了。这一刻的我,忽然想放弃了。在迷茫大海中,希望可以有个依靠, 在我想放弃的时候给予支持。我不贪心,我要的也不多,我只希望有人可以带我走出迷宫, 牵着我的手,一起走到最后。不管发生什么事,都愿意留在我身边。这要求,很过分吗?

Monday 29 July 2013

Trying to love myself more

Loving ourself is so much harder when we have someone tht we really love with. It is because we will always put them at the first place no matter what happen. Because of them we always forget we have to love ourself more, we still have to take care ourself.
现在的我正学着如何去爱自己。以前的我时常把他放在第一位,以前的我只想到他,他的安危,他的烦恼。脑子里全是他,从来没想过他也会离我而去。现在他不在我身边了,就让我傻傻地暗恋自己,疯狂地爱自己一次吧